Eleutheromania

My sadness is not
a cut for you to bandage
and it is not
a bruise for you to kiss

i am not waiting
for you to save me
i am hoping you will love me
while i rescue myself”
_______________________________
Mae. Eighteen.
Loser beyond repair.
Philippines.

Hi, I’m Mae and I’m eighteen. It’s been roughly two years since I made this personal blog. I specifically wanted to differentiate it from my fandom one which tends to be a whole lot messier than it should be. I decided to come back on here to be as free as I want to be. My life is taking heaps of twists and turns and I reckon by documenting all these circumstances would remind me of how far I would venture into the future. Here’s to hoping I’ll be able to do such feat. x

What is paradise.  (at Voda Krasna Beach Resort, Alcoy, Cebu)

What is paradise. (at Voda Krasna Beach Resort, Alcoy, Cebu)

and if anyone ever cares to know, that i’m tired of caring.

♡ more about me ♡

maureenstarkeys:

 

basics

1. name: fritzie mae
2. birthday: 12th of august
3. favorite color: green and red
4. lucky number: 3 - 13 - 8
5. height: hobbit

talents

1. last dream you remember: i was in bohol travelling with my family and it was raining and there was cherry blossoms everywhere and it was sooo sooo pretty and i was texting. how queer.
2. can you juggle: not at fucking all
3. art/sports/both: art
4. do you like writing: very much.
5. do you like dancing: when nobody’s watching
6. do you like singing: oh hell yeah but like other things, I suck at it. 

fantasize

1. dream vacation: US/UK with le friends or Australia mate! :)
2. dream date: stargazing in the middle of a park or a field, with loads of food and some good music. 
3. dream guy/gal/enby: ed sheeran he can sing to me and shit or tom hiddleston whispering me some shakespeare shits, i mean c’mon! (also boyfriend aaaah)
4. dream wedding: as long as the right guy’s there then hell yeah.
5. dream pet: a huge fluffy dog or a tarantula
6. dream job: correspondent for CNN/BBC

music
1. favorite song: my heart will go on - celine dione (don’t judge k), Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls, Cold Coffee by Ed Sheeran, I’ll be by Edwin McCain, I don’t Care by FOB, Singularity by Northlane and Shadow Moses by BMTH AND SO MUCH MORE. 
2. favorite album: Plus by Ed Sheeran. 
3. favorite artist: Ed Sheeran.
4. last song you heard on the radio: Thnks Fr Th Mmrs by FOB. 
5. least favorite song: I have one song that I really hate but I can’t quite put my finger on it rn. 
preferences

1. guys/girls/nbs: b o y s
2. hair color: black because duhhhhh or ginger if Ed Sheeran. 
3. eye color: hazel or green or idk as long as he has eyes cuz that would be creepo
4. humorous/serious: humorous dufus
5. taller/shorter: taller

6. biggest turn-off: sexist, racist, disrespectful bastard, arrogant piece of shit basically joffrey baratheon. 
7. biggest turn-on: if he reads books or watches the shows i watch or listens to the same music as i do ahhhhhh AND IF HE IS SWEET AND RESPECTFUL AND SWEET ♥

(Source: scormalfoys, via okhemmxngs)

I’m so sorry that I wasted your time because you really do mean a lot to me and I hope you have a very nice life because I really think you deserve it. I really do. I hope you do, too. Okay, then. Goodbye.

Stephen Chbosky
(via dissapolnted)

(Source: feellng, via okhemmxngs)

the tears won’t stop falling
the pain won’t stop hurting
the throbbing in my heart
is driving me insane

i’m alive though i’m not
I still linger but I forgot
how to continue on this life
without all my demons to blame

my hands are shaking
as it drove down home
to the heart that’s been waiting forever
to alas, be left alone.

now, it’s been left alone.
finally, it’s all alone.

I saw it coming but I never anticipated for it to hurt this much. 

To my wonderful, Zainy.

Excuse me as I choke up on my tears. Awww, Zainy. I can’t believe you actually wasted time reading all the shits I post in here. Tbh, I can’t believe any of you waste your time reading all the shits I post in this dumphole of a blog. A very flawless, quite poetic unbelievably amazing dumphole if I may say so myself. You’ve always been so understanding of me and my “issues” and even listen to all my nauseating rants. We live so many miles apart, crossing oceans and even continents. We even have different religions and were brought up differently but even all that weren’t enough to extinguish the bond that we share. You’re more than a friend to me, you’re my soulmate, you’re a sister from another womb in another continent speaking in a different tongue :D We shared stories about everything and some of them I couldn’t even share to another living soul but I shared them to you because I trust you. You know how psychotic I get about fictional characters and books and other matters and you still talk to me. That’s mindblowing! :) I’m so happy that my idiocy on this blog made you happy. That is just beyond wonderful and increasingly heart warming. On the other note, I’m also quite embarrassed that you read some of the weird things I post on here. I know how some of my rants would seem childish and bordering selfishness. Btw, who the ever loving fuck said your a heart-stoned asshole  huh? You have one of the biggest hearts that I know of. One of the most beautiful people I know inside and out. AND defo, one of the best people I got to meet last year. Do you still remember how we met? Hmmmm.  Also, you are, quite frankly, one of my favorite human beings as well.  It’s people like you who revive my faith in humanity. 

I love you too. And I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. ;) ;) ;) I will keep up with your shits as long as you’ll have me. I can’t wait to read more books with you and share with you more amazing music AND hopefully, visiting you someday. I love you, Zainy bug. Okay? Okay.